February 2018 Playlist

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I look forward to February every year. I’m one of those crazy single people that still love Valentine’s Day and even though I know nothing particularly special is going to happen on the day, I still get excited about my birthday. If nothing else, it’s a day where people buy me pizza. Unfortunately, this Valentine’s Day marked another tragedy in my country. I won’t go into it, lest I start crying again, but it needed a mention so this post didn’t come off as TRA LA LA FEBRUARY WAS WONDERFUL.

So instead, TRA LA LA LET’S TALK ABOUT BIRTHDAY PRESENTS AND MUSIC. Above, is all my birthday presents I received and I’m extremely grateful for everything (thank you cards are literally in the mail, but here’s another special shout out). I originally asked my parents for the Basketcase eyeliner that Billie Joe Armstrong put out with Kat Von D, but the Sephora near my parents didn’t have it in stock, so I bought some Anastasia Beverly Hills waterproof creme color in “Jet” and my mom was generous enough to buy it for me. I just realized it’s not pictured, but she also got me a bottle of One Direction’s perfume “Our Time”, which I found for $8 at HomeGoods. Say what you want, but every time I wear that sh*t, people always say, “You smell amazing. What is that?” Speaking of 1D, my brother got me their album Four on vinyl, which I’ll talk about more below, and also Venmoed me $30 so I could get myself some pizza (or paid my credit card bill, depending on how you look at it). My foster sister sent me $15 to Dunkin Donuts from all the way in San Francisco, which I’m psyched about because they have new Girl Scout coffee flavors I want to try out . . . My roommate got me a coloring book full of pictures of male celebrities as well as a Golden Girls themed Mad Libs which has me more excited than I can tell you. As always though, my best friend nailed it. She never flat out asks me what I want and I don’t drop any sort of hint, but she always picks out the perfect thing. She got me the Illuminate by Ashley Tisdale makeup brushes that I’ve been coveting forever as well as an awesome bracelet from Ebb and Flow, a jewelry brand co-founded by one of my many crushes.

So music. Listening to my record player while I chill with the cats and a book is still my favorite, so there’s a lot of Queen and Beach Boys on this playlist (between my roommate and I, we seem to have more Beach Boys records than anything else). As I said, there’s also this One Direction album, which I know came out in 2014, but so. good. I only knew a few songs from it, but now I am so in love with the song “18.” I can guarantee you that this album is gonna make it onto my March playlist as well, but I’ll put some different tracks on that one, promise.

Then there’s this song by The Band CAMINO. My friend Lara introduced me to this song awhile back, but this month I finally got around to putting it on my iPod and now I can’t stop listening to it. It works for writing. It works for chilling. It works for getting emotional. It works for working out. It. Just. Works.

This month, Ashley Tisdale released an EP with her husband, which is all acoustic and all covers. I really liked these stripped down versions, especially “Shut Up and Dance.”

There’s a couple of seemingly random country songs on here – a track from an episode of Nashville, one from Endless Summer and another by Painted West. The tie between them all is Summer Overstreet. I love her songwriting style and will almost always check out anything I find out she had a hand in. You should all check her out (plus her tweets are hilarious).

Oh right, then there’s this batch of classic Third Eye Blind that comes out of nowhere. You can blame Flight (my favorite coffee shop) for that one. I was in there towards the end of the money and they had what seemed to be Third Eye Blind’s Greatest Hits playing (if there ever is such a thing). My 90s self was jamming hard. (In my head anyway. Outside, I was calmly sipping my decaf mocha and reading an article about Sarah Paulson).

All right, people, until next month. In the meantime, let me know what you’ve been listening to or how you spent Valentine’s Day. Or what you’re hoping to get for your next birthday (even if you have to wait a whole year again like me).

  1. “The March of the Black Queen” Queen
  2. “Funny How Love Is” Queen
  3. “My Thoughts on You” The Band CAMINO *
  4. “Seven Seas of Rhye” Queen
  5. “Raised on a Song” Clare Bowen
  6. “Girl Don’t Tell Me” The Beach Boys
  7. “Issues” Ashley Tisdale feat. Chris French
  8. “Don’t Let Me Down” Ashley Tisdale
  9. “Shut up and Dance” Ashley Tisdale feat. Chris French
  10. “Stay” Ashley Tisdale
  11. “Toxic” Ashley Tisdale (feat. Chris French)
  12. “Your Own Kinda Beautiful” Endless Summer
  13. “All or Nothing” Painted West
  14. “Steal My Girl” One Direction
  15. “Ready to Run” One Direction
  16. “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” One Direction
  17. “18” One Direction *
  18. “Girl Almighty” One Direction
  19. “Fool’s Gold” One Direction
  20. “Jumper” Third Eye Blind
  21. “Wounded” Third Eye Blind
  22. “How’s It Going To Be” Third Eye Blind
  23. “Deep Inside You” Third Eye Blind
  24. “God Only Knows” The Beach Boys
  25. “Heroes and Villains” The Beach Boys
  26. “She Knows Me Too Well” The Beach Boys
  27. “The Little Girl I Once Knew” The Beach Boys
  28. “Surfin’ Safari” The Beach Boys
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January 2018 Playlist

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I feel like January was twice as long because I’ve been doing so many little changes in my life. Well, some little. I talked about this in my Gymsecure post, but I started going to gym almost every day with my roommate. I don’t love working out (at all), but I try to find little motivations to go that are more immediate rewards, like that I get to get out of the house and away from work for a guaranteed hour and watch a show or part of a movie while I’m on the treadmill. I’m was so much better at getting my work done this month than I have been before, which equates to more money (not much, but more just the same) and a little less stress about my bills. I’ve just generally been more organized. I don’t know what changes I want to implement for February, but I’m liking this small changes at a time thing.

But let’s talk about music. On the one hand, there’s not a lot of variety in my January playlist. I got a record player from my brother for Christmas and my new favorite thing has been to put a record on and read a book or my magazines on the couch with the cats. So there’s a lot of classic rock on here from basically the same artists. However, there’s some that diverge from that. One is a track by someone named Kristoff, who I’ve never heard of, but the track features Vann, who I said in another post I used to babysit way back in ye olden tymes. The next is the new one from 30 Seconds to Mars, who seem to be on a streak of releasing music impossible for me to hate. The final is a song by All Time Low that I already loved and had, but they released a live version of it and it’s still amazing.

  1. “I Believe” The Rascals
  2. “Do You Feel It” The Rascals
  3. “Good Lovin'” The Young Rascals
  4. “Like a Rolling Stone” The Rascals
  5. “Mustang Sally” The Young Rascals
  6. “I Ain’t Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore” The Young Rascals
  7. “In the Midnight Hour” The Young Rascals
  8. “You Can’t Catch Me” John Lennon
  9. “Ain’t That a Shame” John Lennon
  10. “Do You Want to Dance?” John Lennon
  11. “Sweet Little Sixteen” John Lennon
  12. “Slippin’ and Slidin'” John Lennon
  13. “Peggy Sue” John Lennon
  14. “Bring It On Home to Me / Send Me Some Lovin'” John Lennon
  15. “Bony Moronie” John Lennon
  16. “Ya Ya” John Lennon
  17. “Just Because” John Lennon
  18. “Pawn” Kristoff (feat. Vann)
  19. “Mrs. Vandebilt” Paul McCartney & Wings
  20. “Let Me Roll It” Paul McCartney & Wings
  21. “Mamunia” Paul McCartney & Wings
  22. “No Words” Paul McCartney & Wings
  23. “Picasso’s Last Words (Drink to Me)” Paul McCartney & Wings
  24. “Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five” Paul McCartney & Wings
  25. “Dangerous Night” 30 Seconds to Mars
  26. “Some Day One Day” Queen
  27. “The Loser In the End” Queen
  28. “Ogre Battle” Queen
  29. “Drugs & Candy (Live)” All Time Low
  30. “The Fairy Feller’s Master-Stroke” Queen
  31. “Nevermore” Queen

 

In the photo:

LA Girls Fineline eyeliner in black

Maybelline Lash Sensational Waterproof Mascara in “Brownish Black”

Illuminate

I started with one and couldn’t stop. I love these lip glosses because they’re high quality but a good price. I’m an Ashley Tisdale fan anyway so I started off by buying “Skinny Dipping” (still my favorite) just to see if it was any good (it was) and then just went ahead and bought all the colors that were easy for me to get. These colors (“Aloha,” “Bonfire,” “Coral Reef,” “Hibiscus,” “Skinny Dipping,” And “Tan Lines”) can be purchased at Target or Ulta, or there’s these and more colors on the Illuminate website. I have some of the shadow pallets and lip/cheek creams so maybe I’ll do a post on them later on, but they also have false lashes, makeup brushes, bronzer, and shimmers, which I’d love to try once the ol’ bank account let’s me (the Illuminate website only offers free shipping if you spend $50, which isn’t exactly in the budget at the moment). But in the meantime, I’m enjoying these and so do other people that borrow them.

Gymsecure

After promising that I would not do any posts about going to the gym, here I am lying and doing a post about the gym. But this isn’t one of those, HEY LOOK. I DID IT AND I’M SO Pimg_1059ROUD OF MYSELF. It’s the opposite actually.

I mean, I did do it. Since signing up on the 10th, my roommate and I have gone almost every day. I think we’ve skipped only two days. The first was because her mom came to town and took us to dinner, which we then decided to go at 7 AM the next morning to get it in so she could go out with her boyfriend and mom that night and neither of us would miss another workout (I have terrible insomnia so I didn’t fall asleep until 4 AM and was a bear the next day). The second day we skipped was a Sunday because Sunday is my day off from everything – I don’t do anything work related and I added working out to that.

Anyway. It’s only been a week and every day I go, I’ve been able to do a little more, whether it’s going a little faster on the elliptical or putting the treadmill on a higher incline. Every trip, I sweat more, but not finding myself wanting to curl at the base of those garishly purple machine and cry. I see the number of calories I’m burning on the machine go higher every trip. Today, it was almost 400.

But instead of being proud of my progress, at the scorched calories that otherwise would still be sitting on my bottom somewhere, at not feeling ready to pass out or being angry that my face is on fire, I start doing what every plus size woman is guilty of at some point in their life (or a lot of points in my case).

I start comparing myself.

My eyes creep over to my roommate’s dashboard. She’s at a higher incline. She’s doing a higher speed. She’s already burned more calories than me and she started ten minutes after I did. She’s pumping her legs faster on the elliptical. She’s running on the treadmill now. People are going to look at us and think, ‘Of course the fat friend is going slow, that’s why she looks the way she looks and her gorgeous friend is in good shape.’ How does her ponytail even look cute while mine looks like I’m just a lazy and gross uggo that doesn’t even know how to do her own hair . . .

And on. And on. And on.

I was totally self aware that I was doing it, and I tried to be reasonable. My roommate weighs at least 50 pounds less than I do. It’s harder to go faster when you have more weight strapped to your body. I tried to tell myself how well I was doing, especially tonight. No one was watching me and thinking anything because they’re focused on their own thing. It doesn’t matter how much she’s doing and how much I’m doing. We’re different people. We’re at different stages. We both did well that night.

It’s easier to tell yourself that. It’s harder to believe it. Sometimes I do. Sometimes we’ll go and I’ll believe it. Sometimes we’ll go and I’ll feel those voices that have haunted me for years telling me how ugly and fat and not good enough I am.

I think my point in all this is this. Sometimes even when you accomplish something you’ve never accomplished before, you’re not always going to feel successful. But it doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

I’m not going to tell you not to give up and to keep going. You know it. You’ve heard it from closer sources than me. Tell yourself that. Sometimes, you’re not going to listen.

But then maybe one day, you will.

Goodbye 2017/Hello 2018

Is that not the most generic new year blog post? Oh well.

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2017 was a big year for me. I finally moved out of my parents house for the first time, which was a huge adjustment. I was never clingy to my parents, not even as a child, but I also never even had the baby steps of leaving home because I didn’t go to college. On top of that, I had never lived outside of Massachusetts and so, even though I didn’t go far, it was all still a lot of new. I started a new job, working from home, which is both great and terrible all at once. I love the freedom of making my own schedule and can’t imagine any differently now, but I don’t love that you’re not guaranteed a paycheck.

I was never one for making new year’s resolutions, but maybe starting a new year in a new place has got me looking into working more on the things I want to improve. For starters, like so many others, my roommate and I made the decision to start going to the gym. One of the downsides of working at home is not moving much, and the result has been me gaining more weight. I’ve always been bigger, of course, but everyone has that level of weight they reach where they don’t even feel like they’re themselves anymore and that’s where I’m at. Plus, there’s never anything wrong with being healthy. Although with this vow to work out more, I am also making a resolution not to be that person that posts every workout on social media, looking for a pat on the back. I find that in most cases, it just makes people feel bad they’re not doing the same.

Other things are working to get better with my finances, but at the same time taking more time to travel and see all my friends dispersed throughout the US. My writing is another one. I majorly slacked off last year in my hunt to find an agent to represent my work, only sending out one inquiry. I have a project in mind that I can do independently for one of my works, but as for the rest, 2018 is the year I want to be able to say I tried my hardest to get my writing out there.

Speaking of writing, let’s talk about this blog. If you’re on my main page, you may have noticed I changed the tagline from “fashion when one size doesn’t fit all” to simply “when one size doesn’t fit all.” Let’s face it. I updated more on my playlists than I did my clothing. A lot of that had to do with being insecure about the way my body has changed recently and not wanting to take photos of myself and a lot had to do with not being financially in a place to buy new pieces to put together new outfits. While I could have just marked the blog as a failed attempt, I wasn’t ready for that because the fact is that I love working on this blog. While putting my blog in a box of being a plus sized fashion blog might gain me more exposure in a niche, I’ve never been one for boxes. I’m the woman whose iPod switches from Rise Against to Hanson, then to Social Distortion to Underoath, and then back to The Little Mermaid soundtrack followed by a Backstreet Boys jam. I’m the woman who sports black nailpolish and bat coats and owns a pair of vampire teeth, but doesn’t celebrate Halloween and hates horror movies. I read the Bible every day, but I swear more than anyone I know. I’ve never fit in, period. It would make sense that my blog can’t fit into one category either. It’s as complex as me.

So while I’ll still be doing posts about fashion and accessories, I’m going to feel less guilty about those playlist posts. There will be posts about makeup and movies. I want to talk about my writing, the recipes I try (and fail) to make, books, television shows, etc. Maybe some will be deep, maybe they won’t. I don’t want to use the term “lifestyle blog,” because that brings to mind perfect images of latte art and rose gold geometric vases of succulents, both of which aren’t me (but you will find in my house, thanks to my roommate). We’re just gonna see what happens this year. And if it’s another failed attempt, that’s okay. As long as I had fun.

All right, so let’s get to my Top Tens of 2017. Nothing is a particular order because, no.

TV: This was the hardest list to narrow down because I watched a lot of good TV this year. Shows that returned after being off the air for so long, shows that stepped it up this season.  On top of that, SO MANY OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS ENDED. Three that didn’t make the list, but I wanted to mention were Powerless and Making History, both of which were funny had a lot of potential, and Too Close to Home, which was admittedly terrible, but heck yes, I’m here for a show starring Brock O’Hurn chopping wood and taking care of his ailing father.

  • Shadowhunters: season 2
  • The Shannara Chronicles: season 2
  • Game of Thrones: season 7
  • Boy Band
  • Prison Break: season 5
  • Teen Wolf finale
  • Girl Meets World finale
  • The Vampire Diaries finale
  • Kingdom finale
  • Fuller House: season 3

Movies: This list was also hard, but for a different reason. It made me realize how little movies released in 2017 I saw and liked. In any other context, I wouldn’t even mention some of these films, but at the end of the day, I needed enough to make 10. Short films that get a special mention are Team Thor: Part 2 and Red Nose Day Actually.

  • Dunkirk
  • It
  • Thor: Ragnarok
  • The Shack
  • Split
  • King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
  • Gifted
  • Logan Lucky
  • Shimmer Lake
  • Beauty and the Beast

Music Videos: I had to put my bias of liking the song aside and just went with if I actually liked the video or not, because there were definitely some videos that came out for some AMAZING songs this year, but the video wasn’t for me.

  • “Imperfection” Evanescence
  • “Last Young Renegade” All Time Low
  • “War” Good Charlotte
  • “I Was Born” Hanson
  • “Finally It’s Christmas” Hanson
  • “Sign of the Times” Harry Styles
  • “White Mustang” Lana Del Rey
  • “Oh My God” The Pretty Reckless
  • “Walk On Water” 30 Seconds to Mars
  • “Reminding Me” Shawn Hook and Vanessa Hudgens

Music: I separated this into songs and albums/EPs. All the songs on the list are ones not featured on any of the albums/EPs listed.

  • “Hold On” Chord Overstreet
  • “We Could Be the Heroes” Young Summer
  • “Walk On Water” 30 Seconds to Mars
  • “Reminding Me” Shawn Hook ft. Vanessa Hudgens
  • “Bom Bidi Bom” Nick Jonas & Nicki Minaj
  • “Slow Hands” Niall Horan
  • “Stars” Jax
  • “Castle On the Hill” Ed Sheeran
  • “Day After” Biotin Babies
  • “Speak to Me” Amy Lee

 

  • U Don’t Get 2 Do That –  Nash Overstreet
  • Lust for Life – Lana Del Rey
  • The Search For Everything – John Mayer
  • Harry Styles – Harry Styles
  • Finally It’s Christmas – Hanson
  • Synthesis – Evanescence
  • Tree House Tapes – Chord Overstreet
  • In Color – Hanson
  • Last Young Renegade – All Time Low
  • Once Upon A Time: The Musical Episode

Books: Erm. Okay, so apparently, I didn’t even read 10 books that were published in 2017. So I’ll just list the six that I did, though keep in mind, I don’t recommend all of them. Note to self: add this to resolution list . . .

  1. Carve the Mark – Veronica Roth
  2. You Have No F**king Idea: The Naked Truth About My Life – Matt Baier

  3. I Wasn’t Born Bulletproof: Lessons I’ve Learned (So You Don’t Have To) – Maci Bookout
  4. Dunkirk: The History Behind the Major Motion Picture – Joshua Levine
  5. Hotel Transylvania: Kakieland Katastrophe – Stefan Petrucha, James Silvani

  6. Misadventures of a City Girl – Meredith Wild, Chelle Bliss

 

nail polish

Anastasia Beverly Hills lip gloss in “Bordeaux”

December Playlist

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  1. “Say All You Want For Christmas” Nick Jonas ft. Shania Twain
  2. “A Wonderful Christmas Time” Hanson
  3. “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer” Hanson
  4. “Til New Years Night” Hanson
  5. “Please Come Home” Hanson
  6. “Someday At Christmas” Hanson
  7. “Joy To The Mountain” Hanson
  8. “Jingle Bells” Hanson
  9. “Happy Christmas” Hanson
  10. “All I Want For Christmas” Hanson
  11. “Winter Wonderland” Hanson
  12. “Blue Christmas” Hanson
  13. “Peace On Earth” Hanson
  14. “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” Hanson

 

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November Playlist

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  1. “Scales and Arpeggios” Robie Lester, Susan Novack, Gregory Novack, Victor Sweler & The Mike Sammes Singers
  2. “We Could Be the Heroes” Young Summer *
  3. “Good Vibrations” The Beach Boys
  4. “Just a Little” The Rascals
  5. “Rip It Up / Ready Teddy” John Lennon
  6. “Bluebird” Paul McCartney & Wings
  7. “White Queen (As It Began)” Queen
  8. “Kathy’s Song” Simon & Garfunkel
  9. “Overture” Evanescence
  10. “Never Go Back” Evanescence
  11. “Hi-Lo” Evanescence
  12. “My Heart Is Broken” Evanescence
  13. “The End of the Dream” Evanescence
  14. “Unraveling (Interlude)” Evanescence
  15. “Imaginary” Evanescence
  16. “Secret Door” Evanescence
  17. “Lithium” Evanescence
  18. “Lost in Paradise” Evanescence
  19. “Your Star” Evanescence
  20. “My Immortal” Evanescence
  21. “The In-Between (Piano Solo)” Evanescence

 

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October Playlist

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First off, sorry this playlist is so late. I went to visit family at the start of the month. I actually had the outline of this post done so I could work on it while I was there, buuuut that didn’t happen. So let’s just get right to it because I should totally be in bed right now.

First up is a song from an old episode of Teen Wolf that I rediscovered and fell in love with by Gabrielle Aplin. The cover I added done by Anna Waronker was something I heard on the Halloween episode of The Carrie Diaries (Austin Butler, okay?). It’s got a great feel to it and fits with this new thing I’m writing (yah vampires). This classic Duncan Sheik is actually one of my favorite songs of all time, but after seeing the video randomly play on TV, I realized that it had been deleted off my iPod long ago and I had never added it back. The last track by the band with the yucky name is a song I actually loved in my early 20s. At the beginning of the month, I went to my parents and filled the notebook I brought with me, so I went to the basement where I knew I had some old ones with extra pages. I found one from when I was about 21 and some of the stuff inside was really upsetting because it wasn’t a good time in my life. That aside, this song was scrawled in the margins and I decided to add it this month, just as another reminder to myself that I’m still here and doing all right.

For some classics, I added The Rascals, a cover by John Lennon, The Beach Boys, Paul McCartney & Wings, Queen, and Simon & Garfunkel.

This was also the month we lost one of the greats. There were so many Tom Petty songs to choose from for this playlist, but I had to go with this one. It’s a classic for a reason and I liked the line about vampires when I was a teenager (because of course I did).

Recently, I was looking up some old people on social media and I came across the kids of a family I used to babysit. Well, the boy in the family evidently has a rap career. And a beard. Can you conceive of how old that makes me feel? Like, no. But anyway, this track by Vann (not his name when we were making frozen pizza and talking about Pirates of the Caribbean) came out this month so of course I had to give it a listen.

My Disney song this month was from Pinocchio, which oddly enough I was reminded of while watching Avengers: Age of Ultron with my mom.

Recently, I got one of the Now albums because I did. Please keep in mind that I have the very first Now album, which I bought when it first came out. Maybe the theme of this entry is I’m F*cking Old. But anyway, a lot of the music from it ended up on this playlist. Some of the tracks, I really liked. Some were okay, but tried to give a chance. Some tracks, once was enough and deleted them from the playlist. Some I didn’t even entertain because they were done by artists I can’t stomach. But anyway, that’s why you see tracks by James Arthur, Ed Sheeran, Imagine Dragons, Niall Horan, Camila Cabello, Kendrick Lamar, Post Malone, Linkin Park, The Foxies, Jeremy Zucker, Quinn XCII, Elley Duhé, and Mutemath.

Newer tracks that weren’t on the Now album or don’t need their own explanation include a cover of Maroon 5 by Nash Overstreet, Lucy Angel, Nick Jonas, Evanescence redoing an old track, and Cyrus.

  1. “Start of Time” Gabrielle Aplin *
  2. “Baby Let’s Wait” The Rascals
  3. “Free Fallin'” Tom Petty
  4. “Times Changing” Vann
  5. “Stand By Me” John Lennon
  6. “What Lovers Do” Nash Overstreet feat. Madi Wolf
  7. “I’ve Got No Strings” Dickie Jones
  8. “Darlin'” The Beach Boys
  9. “Say You Won’t Let Go” James Arthur
  10. “Castle On The Hill” Ed Sheeran
  11. “Jet” Paul McCartney & Wings
  12. “Father to Son” Queen
  13. “Yard Sale” Lucy Angel
  14. “Blessed” Simon & Garfunkel
  15. “Believer” Imagine Dragons
  16. “Slow Hands” Niall Horan *
  17. “Crying In The Club” Camila Cabello
  18. “Home” Nick Jonas
  19. “HUMBLE.” Kendrick Lamar
  20. “Congratulations” Post Malone
  21. “Heavy” Linkin Park
  22. “Wander In Lust” The Foxies
  23. “Keep My Head Afloat” Jeremy Zucker
  24. “Straightjacket” Quinn XCII
  25. “Somebody’s Watching Me” Anna Waronker
  26. “Lacrymosa” Evanescence
  27. “Can You Touch” Elley Duhé
  28. “Hit Parade” Mutemath
  29. “Barely Breathing” Duncan Sheik *
  30. “Don’t Let Me Know” Cyrus
  31. “Strawberry Gashes” Jack Off Jill